One Million Nooboos: Millennium

Micah and his IF Murple

As in, it took a millennium to play to the birth of Melinda's next baby and that's what's taken so long!

I really appreciate you sticking with me since it's been more than a month since I last published an update. To be fair, I did warn you! I'll admit to a little apathy recently when it comes to playing Melinda's family for any great length of time. I made a few changes that will hopefully help and not backfire on me later. I know, I know, when will I stop making changes?! I think it's safe to say probably never. On to Melinda!

Who are you playing with, Monkey?

Rarf, Mia, rarf!

But she's . . . never mind.

You're in my way. I'm in your way.

I wish pets interacted more efficiently on their own, but sadly, unless I'm closely supervising, this is usually the extent of the socializing.

112% cute.

Occasionally, however, there are moments of absolute adorability. Totally not a real word.

You smell like poop, and cookies, and magic.

No matter how much they garner my attention, Monkey and Mia are not supposed to be the focus of this challenge. When we left off, Melinda's oldest son, Malachai, was a toddler, and she had just welcomed her second son, Micah.

Malachai is the son of mixologist Gussie Bell.

Micah is the son of pizza delivery boy Joel Brown.

Soon I'll make a Who's Whose Daddy guide. As the kids pile up, the fathers are not going to be easy to keep straight.

A full house: a preview of things to come.

This is the only shot from Micah's birthday party.

Okay, well, there were TWO pictures.

Why nothing in between? Here's where we get to the changes.

I realized several things at once.

Thanks to Pam, I was reminded that there is a limit of 10 sims per household, including no more than eight human sims and no more than six pets. I had originally intended to fill the house with kids and pets, but I realize now that I've got to make a choice because every additional pet Melinda adopts now means one less space for a child. And this is supposed to be about the kids. So even though I built a stable in the back of the house and laid out pet beds everywhere, Monkey and Mia will be it. Honestly, pets are so much work, I can't see wanting more than two anyway now.

The second thing I realized is that this is very boring on epic lifespan, at least for the toddlers and infants. I wasn't going to be able to go the distance if I was waiting 75 days for toddlers to grow up, so I changed things up. I cut the time infants and toddlers remain in those stages in half, to 18 and 37 days, respectively. I quadrupled the time kids are kids and halved the time teens are teens. After all, we spent, like, five years being teens and nine years being kids, so it's only fair. I'm hoping this will bring a more dynamic, interesting group, rather than either having seven kids the same age or spacing them out and waiting forever for birthdays.

I have a feeling this will still need some tweaking, but for now, that's how the cookie crumbles.

U haz kookies?

You think all toddlers look alike, until they sit next to one another.

Micah is on the left, Malachai on the right. Malachai is a grumpy neurotic, Micah a friendly eccentric.

Pretty kitty.

Micah was not the only baby I was tired of looking after. Mia had been a kitten since before Malachai was born, and finally, right after Micah's birthday, she had one of her own. I had hoped she would get a little smarter with age, but much to my dismay, she still runs around until she's starving, exhausted and ready to burst. I don't want to simply adopt her out, despite her being so much work. I have something else planned.

It's not illegal to woohoo the babysitter if he's all grown up!

There have been other age changes, too. We lost our absolutely wonderful babysitter, Lorenzo, when he decided to age up into a very handsome young adult. Babydaddies #3 and #4 have already been selected, but he's claimed spot #5.

This is Lindsey taking an interest in the baby.

Lindsey Winters is our new babysitter. What can I say? She's no Lorenzo. The only good thing about her is that the baby didn't need anything, so this is as close as she got. Of course, the baby's actually in the other crib, but don't tell her that. It'll hurt her feelings.

Most of the time, she stood in the hall outside the nursery and farted and burped her way through the day.

Mesmerizing.

Meanwhile, I'd done some calculations. Although Malachai and Micah are closer in age than I'd really like them to be, if I wait until approximately a week before Micah turns into a child, the kids should be spaced out far enough that once Micah leaves home, there should be a space opening up at just about the same time with each child. Seven kids, one leaves home, we get a new baby.

Then Melinda had to go and screw it all up.

She wished for a baby.

How could I not give in? I love when the sims direct me as to what they want. I guess I'm going to have to have the kids in little bundles of seven. It could work. At least it would give Melinda a break from baby duty for awhile.

I'll be the first to admit that Melinda's Sims 2 counterpart, Dara, had as many as 10 children (plus a husband and a cat) at home at one time. I had a mod to allow for as many sims as I wanted. For this challenge, I would absolutely consider adding something similar to this game, but I really enjoy sharing this challenge's progress and since mods aren't allowed on Carl's site, I don't think it would be welcome if I did that.

Besides, it's not like 100 kids is going to go quickly, no matter how you throw the dice.

Before I allowed Melinda to become pregnant again, however, it was time for another birthday. I'm not about to allow her two toddlers and an infant (or more than one!) This has been the hardest time for Mel. She has the most children dependent on her with the least amount of help she's ever likely to have again.

I think we can safely say this one likes girls.

I actually think they're having a good time.

Malachai's child birthday party was actually a hit. The others were total duds, but for once, I had the kids on a schedule, so Melinda had time to cook. Having eaten, everybody was more cheerful and stuck around longer.

Well, MOST folks were cheerful.

This Bird gets around as much as Melinda!

Oddly enough, Alouette Bird was involved with Gussie, too. At Malachai's birthday party, she set her eyes on Joel. Way before either fling happened, she was as close to an enemy as Melinda has ever had. I really think these two redheads have some bad blood between them.

To be fair, none of the sims I play ever like Alouette.

I think you need to get the hair out of your eyes, Malachai.

Malachai's third randomly selected trait is lucky, so he's grumpy, neurotic and lucky. I think he's pressing his luck a little too far with this vampire who randomly showed up at his party. Sure, he's safe now, but there's only one vampire we allow in the Mott house.

Don't tell her we're not keeping the cat.

Poor Malachai. The very first wish he rolled as a child was to get attention from his father. Don't tell him, but Gussie skipped town not long after Malachai became a toddler. I find it odd that story progression would move out a sim, even an NPC, with such a direct relationship to a sim in the active family, especially when there are so many families with whom the Motts have zero association. Still, he served his purpose.

Now time for babydaddy #3.

I also enjoy hitting the elderly with pillows.

Seymore Cole was the Motts' first and best maid. Randall Rider is pretty and Rhiannon Cote is very stylish, but nobody cleaned up like Seymore. Along with Lorenzo and Gussie, Seymore aged up earlier than I'd intended.

They look so happy!

We already know this story.

Interestingly enough, since I couldn't find concrete answers on woohooium, I'll share my experience. It does indeed glow each time woohoo occurs nearby, even with different partners. It does not, however, guarantee a sim's overtures will be successful. (Joel rejected Melinda's initial advances.) It may increase the chances of success, but at this point Melinda has the Master of Seduction lifetime reward which, I believe, makes her advances irresistible, so there's no way to tell which is causing the successful woohoo.

It's not really that surprising, though. Melinda has lots of time to spend on the phone to make sure she's very good friends with her babydaddies before moving in for the ~~kill~~ woohoo.

Malachai, post-makeover.

Malachai really is an easy kid. Melinda couldn't ask for a better firstborn. Although not actually neat, he independently cleans and completes his homework. He's really handy at looking after his brother and even emptying the potty.

Mojo of Evil.

This is Mojo, Malachai's imaginary friend. I'll be honest and say I'd never really played with IFs before. If I had that mod I spoke of earlier, I would totally make any and all IFs real and thus gain Melinda more kids. Since space is limited, however, I can't see having just four kids (and three IFs) at home at the same time. Also, Mojo is really annoying. And if you've ever seen the movie The Orphanage, he looks like that scary clown boy. Very disturbing.

Say bye, Mojo!

One day I'll get into imaginary friends, but not in this challenge.

Altogether now: AWWWWW.

Real kids are so much better.

This is worse than it looks.

In no time at all, Melinda was as big as a balloon again.

I think EA messed up on this interaction. Melinda announced her pregnancy to Malachai (you think he couldn't tell?!) He congratulated her and if he'd been an adult, he would have patted her shoulder. Being about 60% as tall as Melinda, he patted her boob instead. Yeah, I've totally seen little kids do that, but Malachai's a little old, don't you think?

Like I said, though, he's a total ladies' man in the making.

You saw the lucky, now the neurotic.

Malachai, dude, I'm having a baby, not growing a second head!

Ew, ew, ew, gross!

I suspect therapy will be necessary.

He did his homework for the rest of the birth. It was Saturday.

If he rolls ambitious or workaholic for his next trait, he'll be perfect.

Why can't he do something productive some other time? Like during a robbery or a fire? Why does he have to ignore a birth? Of all the things I don't mind him paying attention to!

Miss M., there's no way you can expect me to clean that up!

Randall arrives just in time to throw in his two cents.

Oh, it's a baby.

Welcome, everyone, Matthew Cole Mott. He's very pale, like both his mom and dad, and appears not to have Melinda's eyes, so they must be Seymore's. Matthew is insane and a genius.

Melinda sure spits out some interesting boys, huh?

She did wish for another boy on top of the wish for the baby in general, so I once again obliged with the apples.

So that ends installment four of One Million Nooboos! Thanks for reading, and as always, humorous outtakes below. See you next time!

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's . . .

It's a Joel!

Random flail.

Simultaneous bottles.

I've always had an incredibly tough time getting sim toddlers on a schedule. I don't know if something has changed or if I've just gotten smarter about it, but two toddlers wasn't bad at all.